i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
