watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
