If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
