Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
