I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
