I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
