I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
