So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
