remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
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As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
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I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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