Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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