Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
