even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
