My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize