i think my mom watched the whole time
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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