This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
