This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
