ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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