I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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