don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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