your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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