you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
