What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
