Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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