now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
