The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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