The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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