Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Randomize