so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize