I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
