i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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