Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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