she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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