nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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