My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
