Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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