dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
