I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
