I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
