my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
