Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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