I can tuck mytits in my pants
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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