tell your sister to shave her snatch
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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