Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
