and i looked up. we had an audience...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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