We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Do you have feelings for this penis?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
