only if we run a train.
done.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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