Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
