oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
