Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
