I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
