Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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