Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
