Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
