Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
