he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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