I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
