he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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