call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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