You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
