I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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