Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
