Who wears a wallet chain?!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
