I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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