so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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