Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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