well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
